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Une fille comme moi
Je t'aime plus que hier, moins que demain ♥
Welcome to the blog of a 17yearoldgirl, where she posts her mindless musings and ramifications.
This is extremely private;
cos this is where she dreams, sleeps and cries.
She lives. 		"We can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real sentences.
but our innocence goes awfully deep,
and our discreditable secret is that we don’t know anything at all,
and our horrid inner secret is that
we don’t care that we don’t."
one of e worst daes in my crappy life
Friday, January 06, 2006, 8:32 PM
i had one of e most sucky daes of all e other damn crazi daes in my life. all went well till 4pm when our choir conductor came. once she came in, she jus started scolding us after she heard dat we cant go choir olympics. n i dun get y. cos she alredy noe dat our numbers r not enuf n she alredy told us dat we carnt go last practice...so y is she blowing her top over such a thing?? i meann...she alredy haf preparation dat dis will happen marh so in e end we ended up being scolded 4 more den an hr by both seniors n conductor. which entirely sux. n our seniors made a mountain out of a molehill. it's as if we dun go xiamen, everything else will collapse!! it's almost made into a threat---if we dun go xiamen, conductor will leave us alone n dun visit us much cos all her other choir gg overseas. no concert, no aim, no nid 2 practise. nex yr syf will fail n not get gold wif honours=no concert again nex yr. i mean hellooo is it really so damn serious? it's not as if i dun respect or take choir seriously...i jus dun feel a nid 4 dis setback in choir 2 b exaggerated.

after all, we all haf our own probs oso. we mus contribute in time, effort, money n miss sch jus 4 choir. which i dun tink is really really worth it. i like choir a lot but not enuf 2 make mi sacrifice so much...n i'm sorri 2 admit dat pt. den i had 2 entertain 2 40mins of lecture bout e lodging fees 4 xiamen n e food n transport n e blahblahblah crappy issues. after trudging bac 2 e busstop at 6pm, i waited 4 10mins den stood e rest of e journey home under e pressure of my heavy backpack. stood 40mins straight on a CROWDED bus wif a HEAVY WEIGHT...some kinda record huh? den came bac home wif a absolutely foul mood. phewwww much much better now...

life is jus so full of crap. everything goes e opposite way i had imagined dat it will go. bad stuff happen more often den gd. n somehow my mind jus choses 2 rmbr e bad stuff more vividly den e gd ones. e gd ones dat i wanna rmbr r instead pushed 2 e side of my mind n stored as fuzzy memories dat i vaguely can grasp from my whirling whirlpool of tots. i jus rmbr e bad stuff lyk yellin n shoutin n cryin n loniless n e negative side better. it's lyk those things r imprinted in my mind. i cant try 2 4get them n dey hang over mi lyk a dark shadow n always remind mi of e bitter life i've gone thru. i jus dun get it. how i wish i can literally lose my mind n act as a retard 4 one dae. if i were blind, i wun c e evil in e world n i wun c e violence displayed n i wun c social prejudice n discrimination n i wun hafta watch my own tears drip down my face. if i were deaf, i wun hafta listen 2 e continuous screamin,yellin,naggin...i wonder how my life will b if e windows 2 my soul were closed. i wonder if i would suffer from any hardships or if i would b happier instead. i wonderrrrr...