okayy now i'm feeling uber depressed. life is jus such a big fake thing. y should i even care? heck care heck care. i mus remind myself dat. or else i'll truly become clinically depressed. i'm gonna skip dinner 2dae. n i skipped lunch 2dae oso. who e hell cares???? those kinda things r so so trivial to wad i'm feeling now. i'm not sure whether i wanna blog about this. i mean i dun feel like revealing the whole ugly thing about my life...having like 2-3 posts bout how my parents fight is enough. but apparently now my parents stopped fighting, sth else even badder happens. let's jus say last night sth nasty happened btw mi n my parents n now i got a scar on my face, bruises on my legs. i dun wanna talk about it anymore it gives mi e creeps. seems like a typical family violence scene times 2. there. i've said it. u noe wad happened. i dun wanna go into e details. BUT i'm okay. n it's all bcos i'm saved by my heck care attitude. i was like "hi5! who e hell cares?! not mi? this pain? i can survive it! all i noe is dat i'm not gonna end up like some pathetic child sobbing, thinking about ending her life on this one stupid thing!" dat's how i feel. welll nex time if such another incident happens again, u might as well jus break my leg or do sth serious. den i'll go 2 e hopsital n u can go 2 jail. hell i can jus go into e police station near my hse (only a damn 5 mins walk) n file a case on child abuse!! okayy so it was all my fault---i was in the wrong. but even if i'm wrong, i fucking dun deserve this hellish treatment i get. jus bcos u guys r parents, we gotta respect u n if we dont, u can treat us however u like? where e hell r e human rights?! gawd dat time i went canada a child below 13(i tink) cant stay home alone n if dey do n ppl find out, their parents r gonna get in trouble wif e law! n oso if a child is found to have suffer from parent's beatings, their parents are so so so gonna b dead meat!

hell, at this rate i'm going, i dun nid my parents at all! all i nid is a hse 4 mi 2 live in, financial support on sch fees n daily fees n e basic needs of a child i can do pretty well on my own! i can make my own desicions get control of my own life. now wouldnt dat be soooooooo gr8??? all i do is get in trouble or cause unhappiness wif my parents aniwae...i can b so so much happi in a boarding sch. now i'm alone at home. i dunno whr e hell is my mum n my dad dun wanna come home. he went out 2 some place. n my mum basically jus din bother 2 come back w/o telling anione why. ohh ok, i can hear her jus coming back now. wadeva. like i care. i dun care bout anything. i jus do e stuff dat i'm supposed 2 do...play piano, revise hw, do regular stuff regualr kids do n try to act normal as if my life is jus as perfect as others. wheeee my dad i tink is in a stinking mood again...he's scolding e word "damn" again n again. n he tells my mum 2 go get out. wad a fantastic family i haf! jus exactly wad i nid...all e fun i can get 4 my june hols. coming back now, i dun tink a single dae of my june hols was ever good. how nice. well at least nex time i'll have a excuse 4 not getting good grades! i'll go: cos u guys keep arguing n i become depressed so i get liddat! isn't it the *cough* greatest??????

den last sat, i went shopping wif my parents. din buy much. jus bought shoes. we neva go out likie a normal family shopping 4 so long i 4got how hellish it was. shopping is when my parents spend like 1 hr trying to decide wad 2 buy while i wait restlessly trying to find other things dat interest mi. nex time i wun ever go shopping wif them unless i'm desperate! it's so good going wif frenz, we go 2 e same store dat we like, try on clothes, have fun, buy wadeva we like. no nagging no frustration, jus pure fun!! my family is a nutcase. :D