I'm so so so tired, both physically and mentally. I just feel like plopping down onto my bed, curling up to sleep and never wake up. This year's EOY felt so much more stressful and uncertain. Unlike the previous years when I can say that I can get above 72% for overall, this time I really have no idea because the school decided to pull me out of my comfort zone which I have been in for 3 years. I really don't know what kind of results I will get, and I'm worried about physics, bio and chinese. These were the papers that made me feel really sad after doing them. Sure, my friends all said the papers were hard and they had a hard time doing everything too and they claim that they did worse than me, blah blah...But I just don't feel encouraged or motivated or more comfortable. I feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere. It's like...I'm a small little pencil mark in the middle of a big vast piece of blindingly white paper...almost like I'm floating in the middle of nowhere.

Yes I know that I won't ever ever have to touch physics again next year. But that doesn't mean it's going to do miracles for my physics exam ): I feel ashamed that I can't even be certain whether I'm going to get a A1 for bio, or whether I can do well for chinese even though I speak chinese everyday with my parents, or whether I can really have a MSG of above 2.00. Right now I feel like I'm going through my emo sec 2 days all over again D: That's not good. I'm supposed to be past that already. I'm supposed to enjoy my last year in Nanyang before moving on to hc next year. My life has too many suppositions and much too many uncertainties. It makes me feel alone and insecure.

Truth is, I'm scared. I don't know what I will get and I can't even see whether I'm going to do well or not. Did I really work so hard and try my best like that time when I was 12 and sitting for the biggest exam of my life? No. So does it seem really foolish if I didn't try as hard and whine only now?
I think I'm going to lose my head soon.