Une fille comme moi

who's who?

Friday, March 24, 2006, 8:12 PM

i jus watched happy tree frenz 2dae. super uper gross. lyk how can e creators make cute little animal cartoons n den do such cruel things 2 them?? bleh. i dun wanna recall wad i watched le. den jus posted on 210 blog 2 apologize 4 eating in class. sighh. aniwae, my french buddy's coming over 4 2 days on april 6th!!!!!!! woooooohooo!!! yay i get 2 c her again. ^.^ den later i'm gonna play ms. i havent play in a mth alredy. somehow 4got le.

things r going on quite well lately. but i still dun get it y my parents owaes ask such lame questions n start so boring conversation topics dat dey noe i wun take any interest in. n dey expect mi 2 answer their stupid questions. dey dun understand anything about wad i'm feeling at all!! mayb now dat my mood's better, i should change blog skin again. but i dun feel lyk changing. i alredy so damn used 2 black skin le. n somehow it seems dat whenever i change 2 white skin, i will definitely change it bac de. mayb i can change 2 e unstyle version. dat will b kinda cool actuallie. =) den 2dae i watched the melbourne games n saw the 1st, 2nd, 3rd place all occupied by singapore. BUT all e ppl standing on the platform were all from china. dey r jus china ppl who joined the spore citizens n den represented singapore in e games. it benefits both sides. dey can get more stuff from spore cos in china there's 2 many good players 2 pick on them. n i was tinking if china was in the games, all e ppl standing on the 3 platforms will all b from china. i'm jus proud 2 b chinese. besides dat, chinese is becoming one of the most popular language nex 2 eng n many eurasians 2 learning chinese oso. n den china oso haf such a rich history bg n do so well in everything. whenever i c e olympics, i get a little mad. if singapore can actuallie get more sportsmen dat is born in singapore, raised up here all their life, den it will prove something. it will prove dat singapore can actually train good sportsmen. but getting talents from other countries is jus sorta like a little traitor. the person's not even born in singapore n dis doesnt prove anything except 2 represent spore n get glory.

i'm NOT discriminating singapore or anything but dis is like taking someone's half done project n den working on it 2 make it perfect den take all e credits 4 it. it's not excatly real. well...it's jus something worth thinking about. no great offence intended.

walk a thousand miles

Saturday, March 18, 2006, 3:13 PM

awwwwww...so sad. the french immersion is now over...i miss all my french frenz soooooooo much dat i can cry. sobz. n den nex mon is school again. no fair!! i wan holidaes. i wanna stay at their school longer!! their sch simply rox. the food's great, there's aircon n u can wear casual clothes. n i'll miss all the guys there as well...especially for viet ann's craziness. all e guys there r so BIG flirts, n dey can touch gals soooo damn casually like jus hold hands n kiss cheeks n touch legs...wadeva. it's still a little weird to haf guys jus seat so near nex 2 mi n not feel anything. n i'm a little not used 2 them being so open when asians r so conservative n den oso bcos of e fact dat i've been in a gal's sch 4 one yr alredy n i dunno how 2 deal wif guys. i guess i 4got how i jus beat up guys in pri sch n jus mess wif them. of course, now my beating up skill is not as good as b4 but my pissing off skill has improved greatly due to many chats wif my guy frenz online. sighh once sch starts it's another busy busy week...we're seriously more busy den them. we haf 3rd lang after sch n cca oso. although dey dismiss at 4.30pm everydae, dey haf a 20min break every 2hrs n their lunch period is 1hr 10mins!! n den dey learn latin n spanish/chinese/german. haf 2 choose one btw e 3 languages. n my class is doing animal farm 4 their eng lesson. lol.

jus rmbred dat i 4got 2 blog about lifeskills camp last week. so here i am again. i'm now desperately trying to extract my "camp memories". the most deepest impression n lesson dat i learnt is to make sacrifices n unite 2gether. i rmbr dotty's sacrifice one day 2 where she rushed to n fro from dis toliet to another to make sure we were having no problems wif our duties n to collect our evaluating form. she only bathed very last min n she was having dinner when we were watching the movie. i rmbr zhenping's sacrifice where she single-handedly folded the entire ground mat on day 1 at the botanic garden n was pissed off dat no one helped her. i still rmbr mi n ethel's sacrifice when we bought 16 drinks for our class n carried them from e store 2 e picnic spot n lost lyk $10 cos ppl din pay up. den i still rmbr the tie-up-leg game it was really fun. n the passing rubber band game which our class won. n den 212's leadership games, finding iris n looking in ballons 4 little scraps of paper n sticking our feet in muddy water full of dead leaves. i still rmbr the movies which were so so so damn nice. i LOVE the movies. seriously love them. esp rmbr the titans. dat made mi cry. it has so much more underneath.

i seriously hate the amazing race. dey make us run sooooo much n i din tink dat made the class more united cos it's all about winning n den some of the ppl scold the others 4 not running as fast etc etc. den the DISC was great fun. it was nice finding our who the real mi is. i was rite. i do haf a mask. i'm a CS but actually in class n in front of others, i'm a more I person. oh well. n my characteristics r all not especially high unlike some of frenz whose CS were practically at the top of the graph. my CS is only in the middle of the upper portion of the graph. sleeping under the stars seems great fun but actually it's not really dat exciting cos u couldnt really see a lot of stars all bcos of the streetlights n everything. basically the camp went quite well n i feel dat the class is really a little more united compared to last year. but i haf dis horrible feeling dat once sch reopens, it'll b e same old cliques again. =( ohh well. guess dat some things jus cant change. the best feeling dat i felt during the camp was when we had dinner on day 2 n there's a plane dat made a line on the perfect blue sky n den all e music were playing n the class was seating 2gether as a whole. i felt really really good. almost as if i were in heaven. seriosuly. these daes i jus feel too drowsy to come up wif any good discussion topics lyk b4. my brain cells r dying. n i tink they're gonna b all dead by the time sch starts on mondae.

busiest week of my busy life

Monday, March 13, 2006, 7:32 PM

okie...b4 i start lemme jus warn u dat dis is gonna b a super lonnnnng post cos i'll blog bout both lifeskills camp n french immersion. =D tink it's gonna b e longest post i ever did. i'll blog bout french sch 1st. ya so 2dae i woke up at 6.20am n den sat my fren's car. den my fren's dad tink lyk 2 wrong turns which got us 10mins late. lolx. once we got dere at e french sch, saw e most number of "ang-mohs" ever. den all e big kids were lyk those in a american movie, moving along e corridors loudly n wearing outrageous clothes. n some of e guys were pretty shuai...so i was lyk so nervous. =p basically dey jus wear wad dey wanna wear, even if it means short short mini skirts, big dangling earrings, veryy lowride pants n makeup 4 e gals. e teacher dun care at all. so i waited 4 my buddy(gwenaelle) 2 get mi n show mi around. e 1st period we got was free study period n u jus take out wadeva thing u needa revise/study/do n a teacher jus seat there n supervise. n if u needa go 2 e library 2 do research or sumthing u jus ask 4 e teacher's permission 2 go. everything's completely bendable. n den dey haf aircon classrooms n once a lesson is over, we jus move 2 another classroom 4 another lesson. den we jus dump our bags at a locker place...pretty much american style. n e french sch has kindergarden, pri sch, high sch n junior college all rolled into one. so u'll c some pretty small kids n some pretty...well, big kids.

den e 3rd period was PE. everyone needa change into their sch pe shirt. n den in e gal's toliet, there's jus 2 cubicles 4 u 2 do ur wadeva business n a lot of cubicles 4 showering. den if u wanna change clothes, u jus do it in dis big area 4 u 2 change. so everyone practically stripped into panties n bras n change. it's pretty "open". i din dare change in front of everyone e 1st time. den after PE, dey gif a lot of time for showering. so e 2nd time i stripped in front of everyone else. den during dis PE, we were doing gym n we're supposed 2 make human pyramids n we got divided into 5 a grp n worked on e formations. it was pretty scary. den all e guys was e "1st lvl" mi n another gal e 2nd, n e most petite gal on e top. den being 2nd lvl, i hafta seat or support on the guys which was at 1st, a little embarrassing since i dun reallly noe them well. n den there was dis vietnam guy in my grp n he was lyk so crazi. he jus mess around wif gals. lyk 4 eg, he touched deborah's(another black gal) butt 2 help her 2 do forward roll!! n he jus hanged his arm around gwen n nobody said anything!! n den he even teased mi n ruffled my hair n den put his head on my legs when i was seating down wif my legs stretched out. oh wadeva...i saw a lot of guys n gals kissing each toher's cheeks 2 say goodbye n everything so i guess dat's pretty normal 4 them...

we had a break every 2 hrs n their lunch period is 1hr 10mins!! we went up 2 e cafeteria n u jus grab a tray n den u'll jus tell e ppl serving food wad u want n they'll jus scoop it 4 u. u can grab any apple or ice cream or soup oso. den after u finis eating, u put e trays on a tray rack n they'll collect e trays n dishes 4 washing. but e food was pretty ex. i ordered pasta n chicken chunks for $4!! i jus sat wif all my french frenz n den they'll all talk in french so fast dat it's incomprehensible but they're very nice--they'll translate 4 mi =) unlike my other fren's buddies which sumtimes "abandoned" her n only talked 2 her grp of frenz. den it's physics n dey were learning composition of elements n atoms. n during e entire period e vietnam guy kept turning around n looking at mi. den i asked gwen about it n she said she tink dat guys has a crush on mi. k let's jus 4get him. if he werent so crazi, i'll like him cos he's pretty shuai oso. den 4 e rest of the lessons, i jus sat dere n stone cos i could only understand segments of wad e teacher was saying. basically, it's a pretty amazing dae!! not something u'll experience everydae. e french r nice ppl. yay...so cool now dat i haf french frenz. =D

everything jus come crashin down

Wednesday, March 01, 2006, 6:49 PM

i really dunno wad's wrong wif myself. or my lyfe. i guess i've been born under an unlucky star. cos my happiness can only last for 4 daes of my freakin life in a row. which takes one over a millionzillion in my life.

everything jus came crushing down. the many many assignments, the many many ppl changing around mi n hatin mi 4 pointing out dat they've changed. the many many worries dat i haf. e fact dat my mum was sick(really sick) still cant get outta my mind. they're hiding something. i noe they r. if not, y wun dey tell mi wad's going on? dey only tell mi a framework. n i'm left on my own 2 pick up e pieces n try 2 put them 2gether. e thing is, i cant piece anything bac again. cos everything dat i ever hoped 4 is now crushed under e reality. y wun dey tell mi e truth?! heh...e truth. may seem lyk such a simple word. but yet it is so powerful, so complex n complicated dat no ones noe wad e truth is. we're living in a world of half-truths. u jus dun get 2 c e full picture. so many crimes n bad stuff haf been put away. hidden from e ppl of e world. so many things dat we fail 2 c. so many things we r blind 2. can u c e ppl dat r dying in 3rd world countires? can u see love instead of money? can u get out of ur life of self-centered ness? can pretty gals wake up from diet pills n surgery? i dun get it. is their brain structure so naive or is mine too crazi? i'm so confused rite now.

if only if some1 can understand. if only someone can stretch out a hand 2 pick mi up. so now i've brok my wings. i'm lie here. there's so many unanswerable questions dat i wanna ask bout life. those ppl dat i tot were frenz turn against mi n shut themselves out when i nid them e most. i may seem happi everydae. being miss smiley n smiling a hundred times a day. but i've fooled u. i'm not happi. inside i'm sad. i wanna cry. only dat e tears wun come so easily. cant u c dat everytime i laugh n i smile there's sadness inside? cant u c dat my laugh is forced? it seems 2 mi dat i've been wearing a mask painted on wif a smile daily. i jus put it on 2 cover up e real mi inside. heck, i dun even noe WHO'S e real mi. would i like her if she comes up? would everybody lyk her if she surfaces? i'm NOT exaggerating. my life is jus a huge mess. a whirlwind of tots. i'm standing in pitch darkness tryin 2 grasp a hand. any hand. to come 2 mi n lead mi into e sunlight. but u guys jus dun get it. nobody does. i'm left alone. how much would i like 2 scream. all e pain i feel inside. how can u open up my heart n wear my own personailty on my face? how can i make everyone accept mi? HOW????????????????????

crushed. i'm jus way 2 crushed 2 stand up.