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Une fille comme moi
Je t'aime plus que hier, moins que demain ♥
Welcome to the blog of a 17yearoldgirl, where she posts her mindless musings and ramifications.
This is extremely private;
cos this is where she dreams, sleeps and cries.
She lives. 		"We can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real sentences.
but our innocence goes awfully deep,
and our discreditable secret is that we don’t know anything at all,
and our horrid inner secret is that
we don’t care that we don’t."
i turned bittersweet 16 aujourd'hui
Tuesday, May 20, 2008, 9:19 PM
Can't say I'm particularly jubilant on my birthday, but I really want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who wished me "happy bday" today and also to jeaniebean and michmich for giving me pressies~ I went out for dinner at Crystal Jade today with my family at night to have a nice meal and then bought a big chocolate cake. Haha it's chocolate cake for me every single year cos I'm such a chocoholic.

I've realized that chinese food is still the best as compared to western. There's a bit of soup, warm steamed veggies, non-fried roast meat and things such as 葱油饼，饺子，小笼蒸包，拉面，炸酱面...花样实在太多了。中餐可以吃到不油腻的食品，也可以吃到新鲜的蔬菜，吃了让人感到非常舒服。生病的时侯最好吃的好吃的还是中餐，因为他有汤有水，伤心的时侯最好吃的也还是中餐，因为吃了让人觉得心平气和。中餐的种类繁多，不想西餐的那么油腻，简简单单，不用大块大块的肉，也没有冷冷乏味的veggie salad。
I think each year as I grow older, i do not really feel any more different than the previous year. I think what matters when you grow older, is the way your thinking changes, the way your maturity grows each year because of the things you've experienced each year. Some people grow older year by year but actually their maturity level is still that of a 10 year old sometimes. My dad told me that we shouldn't have a grand celebration currently because of the Sichuan earthquake and China has also annouced 3 days of mourning for all those suffering in Sichuan. I donated $20 to China Embassy and I extend my sympathy towards all those who lost their kins from the earthquake but frankly I feel that the reason of the numerous natural disasters recently is because mother earth is angry at all the things that we've been doing to her for the past century or even longer. We've been polluting the water, chopping off her trees, releasing toxic gases into the ozone layer, killing so many species of birds/plants and animals annually and killing our own kind as well. Nothing happens without a reason...it's time that we actually think about why these disasters increase in number, with greater severity each time and how we can do something to prevent tragedies like this from happening again, instead of only mourning for the people who suffered from them.

Things we did for biodiversity so far:












This picture has already been shrunk. Please refrain from looking at it if you find it disgusting etc. It's a dissection of a frog, with labels showing its stomach, colon, bladder, ileum, spleen, heart, gall baller, lungs etc. Oh not to mention that its heart was beating the entire 2 hours while I was staring at it mounted on a piece of styrofoam. The poor froggie is was already dead and sacrificed itself for the name of science but for some reason, my bio teacher said that "heart beating" is a reflex action.
If you find this traumatising, um please do think of me cos besides the beating, there's bleeding too.















Here's a flower crab preserved by formaldehyde and mounted on a styrofoam to dry and preserve its shape.













Me and michmich's cricket specimen.














Preserved quail's egg. So cute to preserve an egg on my bday.
The egg yolk and egg white have already been pumped out using an air pump.

education corrupted me D:
Wednesday, May 14, 2008, 10:16 PM
My birthday's arriving soon...it's 6 more days till i turn bittersweet 16. Time flies and i didn't feel that it was very long before it got to may and we're all finalising our CA1 marks and worrying about report books.

My report bk this semester sucked. S-U-C-K-E-D COMPLETELY. I managed to get an awfully low MSG of 2++ and i had two b4s and one b3, two A1s and 2A2s. One of those A2 was math again, and it was just a bare 70 like last year again. And I hate it that i got 69 for LA. ARGH. I seriously think i'm at the lowest of the bunch in my class. I wish they can do away with MSG instead, at least without MSG, i can get a 75% average and it looks nicer. ARGH.

We're forever being reminded that we're the creme de la creme en Singapour, mais c'est pas vrai. At least it doesn't seem true to me. When i tell ppl of my so-called "achievements", I have done NYAA, i've been learning french for more than 3 years, I'm taking piano grade8 and I'm in a gold with honours choir and last of all, I study at NYGH. And people will be like: wooooww u're so great and all thsoe stuff. But when i look at other people, I think i'm like the rotten fruit of a basket full of fresh fruits. Other people also achieved piano grade8, they're the president/vice pres of BOM/PSL/whatever cca etc or they're a councillor, they also excel in their ccas, they are excellent in their studies, have attended, SMP/NRP/LDP/AEP/BSP/HMP/HSSRP/MPP and all those many many prestigious Ps that my school offers. And me, I'm nothing when compared to those people who attended so many Ps.

Anyway, tmr's the start of sabbaticals and also my last concert for choir. 4 years has certainly pasted fast. Esp since I entered sec3, things just seemed to be a blur to me and sometimes I could make out the things I have, things i do, things i need to do.... My studies have also dropped since I entered sec3. It's lousy. I hope at the end of this year, I can scrape by an MSG of 1.4 or lower.












My parents bought this beautiful rose on the day of my last concert, on 8 may. It lasted barely 4 days before it just died completely and i had to chuck it into my garbage bin. I feel that the rose is like me in some ways. My mum just popped in and asked me to do HCL O level papers for chinese whenever I have the time. She tends to remind me to do them at least once a week. She wants me to finish two assessment books worth of papers ASAP. I think once she sees my report book, she'll remind me to do assessments for physics, math and chinese everyday. I have no life, I must finish the papers and the long list of homeworking awaiting me.

I think if i laid out all the homework and things I've done so far, it will be able to cover several football fields. I really don't get the purpose of education; let's all just go back to the beginning, when men wasn't even smart enough to invent fire. I do not need all these temporary useless garbage surrounding me and my life. All I need, is food, clothes, medicine, family and friends and happiness. Is it so hard to get that?

The rose in me died long ago. Do you think I can just bury it?