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Une fille comme moi
Je t'aime plus que hier, moins que demain ♥
Welcome to the blog of a 17yearoldgirl, where she posts her mindless musings and ramifications.
This is extremely private;
cos this is where she dreams, sleeps and cries.
She lives.
"We can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real sentences.
but our innocence goes awfully deep,
and our discreditable secret is that we don’t know anything at all,
and our horrid inner secret is that
we don’t care that we don’t."
i guess this is life
Monday, October 23, 2006, 5:39 PM
life has its little ups and downs. mine jus came and went. i moved to toh guan on sat and unpacked 90% of the stuff by sun. my rm is realllllly nice...a low jap style bed, a ball-shaped glass dome as the light. two HUGE wardrobes which reach up to the ceiling and built in cabinets. oh plus a 100% fluffy white wool rug. SOOOOOOOOOOO NICE!! XD my room looks great. and so does the rest of my house. cos we got new L shaped sofa, 6 seater dining table and 2 balconies...and 2 toilets. wif really nice sinks (:

but today i tink my mum is being pms-y...after all she's old*...* ya so u noe wad i mean..i'm kinda mkaing up excuses for her behaviour. this morning, she showed mi the shortcut to work to JE bus interchange so i can take the bus to sch and i tot she was going to take the other over head bridge, which is the longer route. so i didnt get it and i argued wif her over why she was going dat way instead. and she hit mi. she smacked my back. and i jus stomped off as fast as possible to the bus interchange and i didnt want to argue wif her anymore..is it my fault dat i got confused over the overhead bridge?? and today it was raining DAMN HARD when i reached home by bus and i got home and found it empty and it was weird cos today my mum told mi she was on leave at home. then i found all the windows opened and the wardrobes and cabinet doors were open as well so i was worried cos i didnt noe where my mum was. then after she came back, she accused mi of being rude to her and interferring in her work. cos i tidied up the dining table and the coffee table by storing away stuff and i accidentally broke a small porcelain container in the process. and she scolded mi for dat. and she hit mi again. HELLOOOOOOO i want my home to be nice and neat as well i dont want all the rubbish overflowing like what happened in our old hse. i want the table tops to be bare with only minimal decorative items on top. i didnt want to mess up my new house since all the furni are new and dey should be treated properly...and my mum said it was unneccessary of mi to clean up the dining table cos she didnt tink it was too messy. but i wish she'll open up her eyes and LOOK. dat table had old books, a comb, a hair clip, 2 cups, 2 jam bottles AND a lunch tray lying on it. IS DAT WAD U CALL NEAT???????????????? SHE was the one who was always asking mi to put away things even when my room is not particularly messy! and i bet the only reason she said it was neat was dat she dont want to own up to it. dat's wad i hate about her. and the thing i was most hurt was dat she jus simply accused mi of messing things up when i was TIDYING things up. and she didnt understand the fact dat i want a nice beautiful home to live in that's y i put the stuff away...in my old house, i didnt even care no matter how messy it was! i tink i totally lost her. mi and her jus lost dat bond and we just dont understand each other anymore. yet another depressing thing for mi. anw but i'm not really depressed all the time it's jus dat when i get some horrible experience i wanna vent it out and so i blog about it. but it's not neccessary dat i blog about happy things all the time. i didnt even tell my mum i want a beautiful home so dat was y i tidied things up and accidentally broke dat porcelain container. i didnt want to and i dont noe why. i jus felt dat it wouldnt have changed anything even if i did cos she would prob insist on herself being in the rite and she wont understand my need to tidy the things up. she wont.

i guess when i grow up, my relationship with my parents wouldn't be exceptionally close either. we're not meant to be together for too long or else we'll quarell and ruin our relationship even more. *sigh* but i'll try to focus on the bright side. there's a possibility i'm getting a cat (: but then again, xue yan said her mum may not allow her to go for ice sk8ing cos her mum tink it's too ex. *sigh* i told her dat i'll personally plead and beg her mum if neccessary. i'll do anything---ANYTHING to learn ice sk8ing. and i'll give up ANYTHING to get a cat. i'm dat kinda determined subborn person and i cant change a bit about mi at all. guess dat's jus the way i'm meant to be. jus like the way life is. there's ups and downs n u cant do anything about it. it's beyond my control. my aim is to jus realise my goals and fulfil the responsibilities dat i'm supposed to do. then i'll be perfectly satisfied.

brave new journey
Wednesday, October 18, 2006, 6:58 PM
today i went with ah yan to get the registration form and details for signing up for ice-skating...it turned out dat it would only take about 7-8 lessons to get to GAMMA already. for the beginner's course, there's pre-alpha, alpha, beta, gamma and delta then comes the advanced course: freestyle 1-10. i'm SOOOOOO glad dat i can finally learn ice-sk8ing...it looks like one of my life wishes is going to come true..^_^ i tink mi, xueyan and jy r going to register...it's not very likely dat xy is gonna find another person to make a 4 person group..besides, i tink a 4 ppl grp is too big for proper learning. i tink by the end of this year, i should be good at ice skating already...meaning dat i can finally skate effortlessly and glide across the ice like those pros. yay!!!!!! but the skates cost a lot. i tink about $300 and the shopkeeper said dat the skates will last us from pre alpha to freestlye 1-3 before we have change a new pair of BETTER skates. hmmm...

however, i can't really picture myself skating that well seriously i hope my own progress will surpass my expectations and surprise myself. tmr i hafta go to sch againnnnn. sch's so boring these days..i tink maybe i should bring something fun to sch but my board games like scrabble and cluedo are too big and cumbersome to be brought to sch. the only thing dat i can bring is uno stacko and it's already lying in the bottom of a sealed box cos i packed it up already. *sigh* i'm moving house this sat. yay! i should really really get a kitty once i settle down properly. i will give anything to get a kitty or a dog. i don't mind waking up earlier and i don't mind my room size shrinking once we move to the new house AS LONG AS I HAVE A KITTY/DOG. seriously. i tink my class is not really taking drama rehearsals seriously. including me. i spotted other classes all rehearsing with proper props during the allocated time and our class was slacking as usual. haha but i guess dat's wad make us us. i have a busy holiday coming up! complete with ice-sk8ing training on saturdays, dozens of SYF pracs, choir camp, choir workshop, class chalet(?) [not confirmed yet cos the choir workshop clashes wif class chalet ):] and un packing all my stuff at the new house. phewwwwww. but it's good to be busy. to be busy is to know what u need to do daily instead of jus hanging around on the internet and trying to kill time by playing neopets. some people just WANT to be busy. i feel dat being busy gives urself a goal and u noe what u're going to complete at the end of the day, instead of jus doing nth and feeling incredibly bored. *sitong is dreaming of skating* lol.

yannie is totally obsessed with rain. or as she puts it: semi-obsessed. i still cant figure what's so good about dat guy. ok fine he can dance, he's tall, he can sing...any more? is he drop dead gorgeous? NO. is he rich? somewhat. dat's all! i cant seem to find any charm about him. basically there's nothing bout him dat attracts mi as much as it attracts yannie. maybe yannie has a taste in korean guys like him. =.= i tink i may never find a guy dat completely satisfies mi. or if i do, him's inaccessible. i want a perfect guy: abv average looking, kind and understand and having a great temper, and RICH. lol. this way i wont hafta work. i'll jus seat at home and take care of the house while he goes out to work. muahhaha i'm so evil. so far i tink dat the only guys dat applies to all my abv conditions r the guys from hollywood. cept dat i dunno bout "the temper" part. oh mannn y am i brooding over this?! probably cos i'm way too bored again. oh and i've fallen in love wif goong. i can watch all i like now! XD

IT'S OVER
Monday, October 09, 2006, 10:38 AM
omg omg omg finalllly it's over!!!!!!!!!!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee but somehow i dun feel dat happie prob it's bcos my science is horrible. bio, supposedly my best out of the 3 sciences...is SO DAMN HARD. i'm seriously going to die for bio and then physics some qns...let's work it out. 3 marks of MCQ, 6 marks of bio, 4 marks of physics, 3 marks of chem equals...16. and i may even minus off more marks than that...it probably will. heck heck heck i dun wanna tink about it.



SITONG'S HOLIDAY RESOLUTIONS:
-dec maths learning self study module T_T
-read all the classics books like Jane Eyre, the tale of 2 cities..etc etc in CHINESE VERSION [bcos for every book i read i will get 10 bucks from my mum!!! XD]
-UPGRADE MY NEW RM IN TOH GUAN
-GET A KITTY!
-brush up on my maths...
-learn figure ice-sk8ing
-hold slpovers
-go yannie's hse for movie marathon(i dun care! i wanna go!)
-go shopping!!!!! [with xueyan]
-resolve to be a good gal (:



thank god the haze went away. wad's the problem with those ppl in indonesia?? doesnt they noe that burning those trees not only affect the environment but also affect the people's health and affects the economy? besides, they're not only putting the curse on themselves, they're ruining other countries near them as well like Malaysia and singapore and other countries in SE asia! burning down the trees may seem an inexpensive method of logging and also to clear land but in the end it will only cause hazards to man themselves. so quit ur selfish thinkings of saving money for ur own purposes and tink of all those many other things that u will ruin JUST BCOS OF ur selfish actions. here's the damage to the environment:
-upset the carbon cycle---lack of oxygen
-global warming will cause the rise in sea level, flooding!
-soil erosion may lead to desertification bcos the top layer of fertile soil is washed away
-climate changes
-loss of natural habitats for animals

and those are only the main factors. and with all that haze around, my sore throat has gotten much worse and children who have asthma r suffering too. it oso lead to more illnesses like eye irritation and skin cancer. so owaes tink of the consequences before u act. it will cause so much more problems to the world, as if the world doesnt have enough problems already. like the imbalance of poor and rich countries, the creepy guys doing porn on the net, the political chaos in countires etc that's why i say, humans r stupid. and yes, that includes me as well. we're all stupid ppl getting influenced easily under the media and even thou we noe dat all we're taking in r only half truths or total fakes, we just dont care about the consequences of it. yes, it's so depressing. humans r stupid.


it all past by so fast...
Friday, October 06, 2006, 12:18 PM
arh it's been like 1 mth since i last blogged. since there's only ONE MORE PAPER TO GO (yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!) i shall revive my blog. welllllllll i have disobeyed my own rules. after each exam...i play the com until 5pm b4 i go and revise all my stuff T_T bad sitong! die! welll i guess i really will get it if the results come out like rotten eggs. o:

*sigh* dunno how to discipline myself. cant have any expectations for myself oso. it's like everyday i just wait for it to past by without any goals for myself. n dat's reallly bad. ): i really deserve to rot in hell. ok i shall work mega hard for the science paper!



when u set up a campfire
little moths get attracted to the light
it seems so warm, so full of hope
but as it gets nearer,
the flames lick on its wings
it can only merely flap its wings desperately
and watch itself get burnt into ash.

i'm that little moth.
i didnt know till i got burnt.
so now all i'm left is a shell, a shadow of myself
i'm waiting for the haze to go away
so i can see
i'm waiting for the skies to cry
to put out the fire
i'm waiting for my wings to heal
so i can fly
once again.