经过一番思索后，我决定再次让我的博客开放给公众 XD 只不过我把我和melly的照片删掉了，因为那张照片实在有点见不得人。

刚刚读完了饶雪漫的青春疼痛系列6，《沙漏》，实在令人感动。我想饶雪漫就有这种特殊的魅力，让人读完她的书之后变得思路非常发达。不知道在世界的某个角落是否有像书中这样可怜的小姑娘，不停地在为过 一个平凡的生活而不断地挣扎。好想好想现在马上回国购买《沙漏 2》！！！我的日子其实和他们差远了，但是我仍然认为活在这个世上太痛苦，也太辛苦了。不仅要搞好学习，也要在其他方面如美术发展，同时也要保持人与人之间的关系。我希望我以后能做一个活在自然保护区的大熊猫，或是一只koala bear。他们的日子无忧无虑，成天除了吃睡就是玩。

人一旦失去之后，才会懂得珍惜。只可惜懂得珍惜的时候已经太迟太晚了。我现在想考好成绩纯粹不是为了我自己，因为我已经对学习失去了所有的兴趣。我现在想要的是，把学习搞好，不辜负父母的期望，不浪费我老爸每三个月所交付的昂贵的$720学费，再加上我每个月的钢琴课费用以及补习费用。算一算，我一个月总共花掉$595。如果我的学习烂透顶，我还对得起他们吗？可是也不能否认我在得到好成绩的喜悦，以及我在学校快乐的时光……咳。现在我不知道为什么，动不动就对父母发脾气，一听到他们追利索的话就嫌烦。他们总会问我今天怎么样，在学校里做什么之类的无聊问题，或是在我耳旁罗罗嗦嗦。 嬷嬷今天又骂我是只白眼狼。这次的语文考试又糟透顶，又再一次不及格，还没敢跟我的“嬷嬷”汇报，如果跟她说的话，她那火山又会再次爆发，把握淹没在烫烫的石灰里。要我怎么办呢？我的语文水平如果真有那么差的话，我就无法写出像这样的博客了。凭什么老师偏偏要把高分数次给华文水平差得用中文无法完整地说出一句话的人呢？

人生真是太复杂了。

If you have any tiny bit of conscience or actual care, you wouldn't treat me like this. It's because of you not knowing, of your ignorance, that led to your stupid actions. You don't know how painful it is for me to go through this process. You don't know what I'm feeling and what are my thoughts when this happens exactly everyday, at least 5 times each day. YOU DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL.

I thought you were pretty strong to go through what you did, and I told myself I'm gonna be good and not let you worry so much. But apparently, you just hurl your words at me like nobody's business. You hurl them like they're just feathers, whenever you like, you don't know that those feathers are actually darts. I don't feel like facing you, talking to you, or even thinking about you. I wish I can just disappear, for OUR sake. I admit that mistakes exist on my part. I admit that I'm lazy and undisciplined. But, even so, I do not deserve this treatment. I just want to dump all my shit upon you and let you get through it on your own but I did not. I held it back every single time this happens. I let those feelings go through me like a wave, but I bottle it up. I didn't do it for your sake, it's just that I don't want any more trouble for myself. I'm waiting for something to materialise, to help me through this difficulty. But I should have known, nobody has it easy and nobody is going to help you make it easier. You just have to HELP YOURSELF. Please, just spare me from this earful for one day. Please.

Je me sens comme une merde.
This holiday completely SUCKED LIKE HELL.

Yay, I just came back from camp today and slept from 2pm to 6pm :D Allow me to blog about my camp! I'm going to talk about day 1 and 3 in chinese and day 2 in english.

第一天我们抵达downtown east度假村后，马上到D'Marquee享用了早餐。这是我们从中一生活技能营由此一来吃得最好的一次。之后，我们到D'Tent区开始我们的第一个workshop(研习会）。Elaine Heng, part of the camp organiser for our sch, she's an image consultant. She invited Za beauty school to teach us the basics of makeup. 我身边的许多同学都不会化妆，因此他们必须从基本技巧开始。首先，他们让我们使用了超过四中的护肤品，在化妆之前清理皮肤。其中我们用了：Wrinkle-free eye cream, blemish shoot gel, misting conditioner spray, moisturiser, Cleansemax gel. 天啊，平时我们可没有经济能力和时间用这种无聊的东西。何况，我们平时都根本不必化妆。其实，Elaine Heng 所讲的许多事都对我们的日常生活完全没有任何意义：谁说圆脸的女孩不能带圆圈耳环能？虽说我们黄皮肤的人不能擦金色或咖啡色的眼影呢？这些琐事只会让人变得更像无头苍蝇，盲目地追求与跟随潮流，天天担心自己是否过时，衣服颜色是否搭配，头发是否不适合自己的脸型。我对这些人只有一句话：别让自己的生活被他人行为限制。

Today's career conf was in this order: opening speech, defence, psychology, broadcast journalism.

One job shortlisted as a future career: psychology.
Actually i wanted to shortlist broadcast journalism too, but I'm not sure whether I can be so versatile and impromptu on film. And i'm not very sure whether i can be so passionate about my job till i like to work OT and not get paid much. So i'm still debating over broadcast journalism.

ONE MORE DAY TOWARDS GRACES! WOOT!

ok anyway, for today's breakfast, i had something yummy so i decided to post a pic up for all of you to drool over :D

Eggtart cups and a cup of milk as usual. The eggtarts look very yummy right? Sorry for the lousy pic cos I took this using my hp cam of only 2.0 pixels D: I wanna get a new phone by the end of this year! (hopefully) The greenish eggtart is kiwi flavour, actually it doesn't taste exactly like kiwi cept for the green jam on top, but nonetheless, very nice to eat. The other one contains mushrooms with carrot strips inside. Texture of eggtarts is very right, and not very sweet. What I like about these are the outside "crumby" case.

C'est tout pour aujourd'hui, parce que je suis fatiguée, je dois dormir...

Today, I'm gonna do a case study of the relationship between teachers and students. This is a very special and delicate relationship because this is the only job, i believe, that the EMPLOYERS need to very respectful towards their EMPLOYEES. why? because students are the one that pays school fees and the income that the teachers get are literally obtained from the students! Of course, this may not be true for government schools, but for Independent schools like mine, this is the way it goes.

If you look at it this way, employees are allowed to scold employees. Employers are for once, more knowledgeable than their employees. Employees need to be very nice towards employers for employers hold most of the authority. Interesting right?
I feel that teachers should be respectful towards the students too, not because their source of income come from students, but because of the fact that respect works two ways. If you want people to respect you, you need to first respect THEM. I think that despite of our school's propaganda-like promotion of our 5 core values and our school motto, some teachers are not fit to follow the rules. Some examples of these teachers are: our dear teacher who loves to talk during assemblies, but unfortunately is like the darth vader, the gay teacher from the IT dept, just to name a few...And also, our school representative whose chinese sucks so badly that I'm questioning why she became the rep of a SAP school.

这是你的homepage. 这是摘除另一个用户得个人网页，因为我觉得我的"poupeegirl"的妆扮台见不得人了。

这才是我的"poupeegirl"，在他的更衣室里打扮。右侧是你所拥有的衣服，也包括包包、首饰、鞋子、化妆品等。地下的一行展示了你已穿上的衣服。

I have my "poupeegirl" displayed at the right sidebar under profile (: If you ever decide to join poupeegirl, you can tag here on my blog and I'll send an invitation to you :D

that's all for today!