So much for thinking that everything is going to be smooth-sailing for VBC. What's the use of me working my ass off and spending so much time when my other dumb group member is going to ruin it anyway? =.= Sigh, she stupidly invested in something worth 15mil virtual money when i was saving it for something else, to dominate more of IM market. She just ruined everything I had in mind for me. STUPID.

Anyway, I shall blog about the main event of today: CSM! Actually the only reason i go for CSM was cos i wanted to see my pri sch guy friends, if not i'll just get my mum to write a parents letter and then not go for csm at all. OMG. Alex and Wang both grew so tall it makes me depressed thinking of it now. ESP ALEX! I was totally not expecting him to reach around my eye level! But well, I did keep on praying for him to grow since i pitied him when he was smaller sized than all the other guys in my class in p6. I miss my lovely innocent funfilled pri school days, where I can wake up at 7am and reach home at 1.30pm. I miss hanging out with my other nicenice girl friends and going to each other houses. I miss spreading rumours and matchmaking people together. I miss going to the playground to play and going to the "mama shop" near my school to stop by and buy cheap 20cents snacks after school. I miss going to science centres with friends tgt and watching movies at cinemas so often and stealing the guys' popcorns. I miss the swing, the school ecogarden, the $1 meals and everything else. I miss my childhood, I never should have grown up ): If I knew it would be like that, I would have opted to always remain in the state that I was in pri sch, despite being stupid and dumb and ignorant of the "real world". But whoever that said ignorance is bliss is smart!

But thankfully alex still got freckles and the earlobe that i used to pull in pri school. I would totally die if all of that disappeared and a new him emerged, cos in my mind, I guess i would always picture him in his p6 form, with freckles, cute earlobes, small body and with a height that barely reached my shoulders. His behaviour was totally reminescience of what he would still do in p6, but I think he has had too much influence from the L in death note. hahaha. And i want him to NOT GROW ANYMORE! *cackle* i'm evil, since wangchi already grew taller than me -.-" and btw, i know u're going to be reading this, so here's my opinion of u too! You didn't change much, neither did you grow very much taller than me so I'm comfortable with that :D I was sort of expecting that you'd remain almost the same as compared to last year. Yup.

OMG I'm feeling so nostalgic right now. I miss my pri school friends *sobs* Hopefully next year I'll get to see more of them (:

Now is the start of the VBC week again and I'm again losing sleep, checking VBC during recess and lunch, and letting it affect my moods >.< Even though I've already told my friends our chances of getting in to finals are very slim(only 5 teams!) but I cant help but worry about it a lot. sigh.

J'ai trouvé d'autres choses à faire
Et d'autres sourires à croiser
Mais une si belle lumière
Jamais

Et voilà que, du sol où nous sommes,
Nous passons nos vies de mortels
A chercher ces portes qui donnent
Vers le ciel

La robe et l'echelle lyrics, par Francis Cabrel.
Le chanson est très beau.

Dad's coming home today, me and mum are going to fetch him from the airport. He's back from China, my yeye's funeral. The incineration of one more life. I've never thought or tried to understand life when I was small because I couldn't think in such a way that was so complicated. And when I've tried to think and understand life now, I'll get a headache. My eng teacher told us blatantly that life has no meaning. She showed us this comic strip that presented chickens as humans.
Box 1: The easy way of Life
Box 2 onwards showed the chicken waking up the sound of alarm in the morning, eats breakfast, brushes teeth and get dressed, gets a traffic jam while going to work, working in front of a computer, goes to home again, watches tv, sleeps. The cartoonist labelled each box with a number.
Box 8: Repeat steps 2-7 till death.

I second that. Actually a lot of people are living that kind of life, they realise it, but they can't do anything about it cos that's the way it has to go for them due to their circumstances and all that. I'm sick of waking up at the same time, doing the same things over again throughout the entire day, doing hw again at night, and sleeping at the same time again. But nobody has it easy I guess, not even loaded socialites cos life is always the way it is: ironic, most of the time.

Pink highlighted area=ham. Still got an appetite?

today was a sucky day because of choir cos upon seeing that we didn't collate our ticket sales properly and had very little tickets sold, her entire face blackened immediately even before the actual practice. Then, she started wrongly accusing us of a inability to even do something so easy as to sell tickets to our school members and other school's people and also compared us to her other choirs and also called us losers and also made us sing the same segment of a few songs over 30 times.

Well, here's my rebuttals: She couldn't manage her emotions properly and it always happens that everytime things don't go her way, she would have mood swings and treat us like shit. She didn't think of the circumstances of us not being able to sell tickets to our school members and other school's choir members. Our concert price was considered fairly expensive as compared to the price of other CCA's concerts and also because ppl have paid much for a lot of concerts nowadays. To make matters worse, our concert dates were on thursday(which nobody can make it) and friday. Plus, none of us know any people from other schools' choirs and when the com make contact with these schools, they don't reply. Everytime for their concerts, we would be forced to go and support them and see but apparently, this isn't going to be the case for OUR concert. Everyone is tired. We have a lot of things to do. Most of us are already trying our best, it's not our fault if nobody wants to go, right?

If you smile at a mirror, it will smile back at you. If you frown at it, it will frown back too. It's simple, you don't expect someone to greet you with smiles and perform very well when you're calling them losers and all those other crap. You don't expect people to still love you when you illtreat them. There were a lot of things that i wanted to do or say during the entire time but held it back. I find it quite unbelievable that people doesn't understand simple theories like that. Screw extra practices, screw coming early on mondays and screw stupid people. Quel est l'usage de nous travaillant si dur quand vous ne ferez pas même n'importe quoi pour nous? It doesn't matter what we do anyway in that case. Peut-être c'est un temps que votre menace devient le vraie car je suis malade et fatigué d'écouter que chaque seul temp une telle chose arrive. Donc, pensez d'autres quand vous faire ou parler quelque chose qu'est si égoïste.

Gosh, she's just like my mum. I can't stand people like that sometimes.

I didn't blog for a long long time, because of the lack of time due to VBC and such. VBC prelim rounds are now OVER and we have managed to get into SEMIFINALS! (with the help of hci guys and another sch's team) but at least we have managed to get into semifinals! I seriously dunno what our chances of getting into finals are, since there will only be 5 teams getting into finals ):

Anyway, the reason i decided to blog today was because my yeye, which is my paternal grandfather, passed away. Well, let me tell you straightaway: I do not feel one tiny bit of sadness. Well, mostly it's because I don't have much feelings towards my paternal side. He's like just someone i share blood relation with, but not someone that I have put in a lot of emotions to, not someone that I had happy memories with, not someone I love dearly or know so detailedly. Humans are like that. If we never had any special relationship with someone, we would never feel anything when that any other particular person passed away.

Actually, I kind of dislike my paternal grandparents because they refused to take care of me properly when my mum and dad went to singapore to settle down. My parents went over here first to get a steady job, buy a house, and do all the necessary preparations for me to come over, so they left me with my grandparents. Firstly, the reason that they left me with my PATERNAL gp instead of my MATERNAL gp was because there was a nursery near my paternal gp's house. Despite that, I still lived in the little boarding school in the nursery's compound. I was only around 4 or 5 years old. Well, can you imagine a little girl staying on her own in the boarding school with other children that she doesn't know very well? Even though there are teachers there to take care of us, the teachers are not our parents, they have to care for everybody, so naturally, i didn't get much love at that period of time. I had to fold my own clothes, pack my own bag, send my clothes for washing and all those things that a normal 5 year old little girl would not do. ALL THAT, because they didn't want to take care of me. Even though they're retired and have nothing better to do, even though their house is so near the nursery, even though my parents asked them to do it on their behalf. So, as a little girl, i had ill feelings towards them already. And normally little children doesn't carry these kind of feelings into their teens, but i do, and you can imagine the stuff i felt when i was that small.

Well another reason i don't feel anything was because I thought it was time for he to go. He's 77, he has cancer, he managed to struggle with that for around 1 year+. His life is gradually detiorating as he underwent chemotherapy, ate medicine everyday, didn't have appetite to eat food, and couldn't walk properly and go outside for a breath of fresh air. And because of that, other people's lives have been deteriorating too because of just one person. That includes my dad, my uncle and my grandmother, and of course not forgetting my dad and my uncle's families. I feel that if i were him, I wouldn't want to continue living with that quality of life, or continue dragging others around me down together with me, or spending so much on hospital bills that couldn't even save my life. That kind of life is not worth living, it's comparable to being half dead, seeing that you couldn't do more than half of the things that normal people do and that you're suffering in pain.

My maternal grandparents, on the other hand, are bursting with life. Seriously, they're very optimistic and enthusiastic about life. My grandpa, 77, still travels all over different parts of China giving speeches and writing articles for the newspaper or working. He's still working at an age of 77, people invites him to give speeches as he works for a water supplying plant and also because people respect him. His body's in great shape, he have taichi early in the morning then go at night for a stroll with my grandma. Even though he also have some slight illnesses as he's gradually growing old, but both his health and mind is still functioning perfectly. And my grandma, the loudhailer. She's 73 this year and she goes for grocery shopping early in the morning all by herself and in the afternoon she goes to the community club near her house to go and play mahjong with all her friends. And she's has A LOT A LOT of friends cos she's so loud. lol. Not to mention that she's learning english, and now she can sing english songs like "the more we get together". She also told me she acted in a play “小品”that the community club put up this year and she told me: “有一个美国科学家来我们的大院儿，他说你姥姥能活到一百零九岁，你姥爷能活到一百零七岁！一点儿也不用担心，我们好着呢！”
我：“那姥爷怎么比你活得短？”
姥姥：“没关系，我多照顾照顾他，他也就能多活两年！”
That's how she's like.
They'll be fine. Old folks who go to stroll out even when it's snowing and freezingly cold(at 7 or 8 degrees) will always be fine. I bet they'll live even longer than 109 at this rate (:

好想念他们哦。今年一定要逼着他们到新加坡来。

Happy April Fools' Day!!! I'm disappointed we didn't play any tricks on teachers unlike other classes, I guess 402 is too honest and guai >.< My friend from another class said her class fooled her bio teacher by shaking their heads at everything she said, as if they dont understand XD

Miss Mabel just went to watch step up 2 this monday, I watched it long ago with ly on Good Friday's week. IT WAS DAMN GOOD. Well, if you dislike hip hop dance, I don't recommend that you watch it cos nearly 3/4 of the movie is occupied with dance routines, dance moves, dance rehearsals etc and it doesn't have as good a plot as step up 1. BUT WHO CARES?! as long as there's hip hop, i'm a happy girl.



I think it was from the beginning of the movie. 太帅了！！！

the super breathtaking final scene showcase in the rain!

Tracks to listen out to:

• Low by Flo-rida
• Ching-a-Ling by Missy Elliot
• Shake your pompom by Missy E.
• Is it you by Cassie Ventura (who also had a small part in this movie)

I seriously hope that one day I can dance hip hop that well too, but that is highly unlikely ): I guess so far, this is the best movie I've seen in this year. Heh, thinking of it, i didn't even see more than 3 movies this year in the cinema. So pathetic :/