That's the chorus of a Copeland song. I'm so glad I discovered Copeland and Rachael Yamagata, they have got to be the best indie artistes ever. I swear I owe my life entirely to music.
These days are getting more and more tiring and repetitive and hard. My fuse is going to frizzle out anytime soon...you know at the start of every new year, I feel so recharged and energised, and for the first 3 months I put utmost effort in literally everything I do? But now at this period of time I just feel so tired of everything. My family, my relationship with him and my disgusting lack of self-discipline. Not good with a grotesque monster labelled "PROMOS" looming only less than 2 months away. Have wanted to blog on me and Addie's shopping trip to ION on national day eve, the 1kg giant cadbury milk chocolate bar my mum brought back from UK, my new itouch, the photos I took of berries...and so much more things I wanted to express but just didn't manage to.
I wonder how many people yearned to express themselves, to shout, to burnburnburn that blazing flame buried deep within their hearts...but they didn't. Because they were too busy with the stupid routine of their lives, afraid and scared, strange and unprepared to do whatever they want to do. I don't understand why we all need to waste away the prime time of our youths trapped everyday in schools, learning things that we'd probably all forget in the next 10 years. But right now all I care about is that two lecture tests next week, and subsequently promos. Because that is what matters, what everyone is working towards, what the society expects of you. But is that what you really expect of yourself? Do you really enjoy working yourself to bone for "a brighter future"?
Today, talking for an hour long with you again made me question myself again what you really mean to me. I can live without you in my life, but it's begining to feel kind of hollow without you around. Without your stupid crap to crack me up. Even though all my friends and even your friends have warned me against you and I myself know that it was reckless of me to expose myself to you. Even though I know that all good things are going to come to an end, I still went forth and did it. Why? After what you did, I thought I was going to think I HATE YOU, YOU'RE A BASTARD. I did, for less than a day. And then it went back to feeling hurt and stupid and lost.
I should've known, boys always break your hearts.
But maybe the journey was worth it.