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Une fille comme moi
Je t'aime plus que hier, moins que demain ♥
Welcome to the blog of a 17yearoldgirl, where she posts her mindless musings and ramifications.
This is extremely private;
cos this is where she dreams, sleeps and cries.
She lives. 		"We can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real sentences.
but our innocence goes awfully deep,
and our discreditable secret is that we don’t know anything at all,
and our horrid inner secret is that
we don’t care that we don’t."
j'ai peur, mais je fais rien
Tuesday, September 29, 2009, 2:02 PM
"I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. they don’t teach you how to love somebody. they don’t teach you how to be famous. they don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. they don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. they don’t teach you how to move on when the one you love walks away from you. they don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. they don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. they don’t teach you anything worth knowing."

- Neil Gaiman


I skipped school today just to finish my work, so ironic.
And I only did one chem 08 paper, revised energetics and read through a bit of bio. Pathetic as usual. Can't get my motivation to focus and really absorb D: It's so frustrating! grrrr.

I need to breathe think behave like a sponge from now on!

Side note: My oatmeal diet is a flop as well, ever since my mum forced me to eat normal meals last weekend, I think my fat cells immediately started to blow up. Extremely irritating how you spent two weeks trying to lose a tiny bit of weight and then it all hits you back in the face. After promos I'm going to swim three times a week, cut my snacks intake and not eat any rice/stuff with high carbs! I don't believe I can't lose 5 kg.

Please press fast forward
Saturday, September 26, 2009, 12:23 AM

La vie est comme une bol de fraises
Life is like a bowl of strawberries. It looks so sweet but it's actually really sour.

Been meaning to blog for the longest time now...ever since I went to watch Coco Avant Chanel on the 13th. Je trouvais le film tres tres bon (: Serieusement. I think everyone who can appreciate fashion, french culture, loves to think, appreciates good music should watch the film. Audrey
Tautou was magnifique as usual, she goes into character so well (je veux voir Les Fabuleux Destins D'Amelie Poulain encore!) And the music composed by Alexandre Desplat was breathtaking, go and youtube L'abandon, it's my favourite track, the first that appeared in the film. And as usual too, french films always make me think and leaves me with a feeling of satisfaction and the feeling that I've gained something, besides the fact that I get to practice my french.

With promos looming slightly more than one week away, I don't know what to feel. I'm terrified at the prospect of it, actually. I didn't revise anything for GP, didn't memorise any pet topics/vocab, only revised three pathetic topics for bio, my math is still left with differentiation, integration and vectors, econs left with NIA/NID/FP, chem left with energetics, kinetics and equilibria. I have no idea how I'm going to pull through promos, much less do well. And everyday I get home I just tell myself if you want to get a H3 and a MSG of <2,>
voice inside my head that keeps on saying just imagine the feeling of crushing disappointment when you worked hard for nothing.

And then because I don't get enough sleep, I get cranky to my family and then after that I'll feel guilty. My mum is constantly scolding me for dieting...when I only eat oatmeal for one meal a day and for only 2 weeks so far. (I've lost around 1.5kg? I'm not sure though, the weighing scale at home is screwed up like me.) Promos is ruining me, it's screwing me upside down.

I am so scared. I don't want to drown.

Jelly Hearts
Monday, September 07, 2009, 1:12 AM

Mix the crumbles of my thoughts for you
Cos I'm thinking of you in all I do
Beat up a layer of cream cheese
Babe it's you that I miss.

You make me feel happy
You turn me into jelly
Crush me into powder
Boil me in water
For you I'll die hundred times and over;


All the juicy bits of berries,
Cut into hearts,
Each bit is just a little part
Of myself saying "Je t'aime."


Celebrated Addie's bday today...or rather, yesterday since it's past 12AM now already. Haha I'm really glad to see her so happy on her bday, I think she was really shocked to see all of us turn up at her doorstep! :D Special thanks to guenyikkk! For being so sweet to think up of the idea and call her mum and everything! Even Mr Liw turned up haha. I think outside of class, he is really just like another of us, because he loves computer gaming, chips and junk food, niaoing people and trying to matchmake people together. Oh man I really hopes he follows us up to next year!

Tomorrow is the official start of my september holidays...I must really really really work hard! WORK YOUR ASS OFF, GIRL. AND STOP THINKING SO MUCH OF STUPID IMMATERIAL THINGS! I'm becoming like one of those girls that are forever besotted with the idea of love, and that's bad. Laugh at me for all you want, Melly T_T

"It's all a matter of willpower."

And I wonder how many people read my blog, but just refuses to tag and show themselves!

What is this I'm feeling
Saturday, September 05, 2009, 12:37 AM
What is this I'm feeling

Not sleeping and thinking about you till 2 in the morning
Inching forward to embrace every minute detail of you.
Going over your face, your words, your smile...

Maybe this ain't love
Yes I think this is just another infatuation that will pass.
Maybe I'm not in love with you,
I'm in love with the concept of it.

Maybe I just need someone to hold me through my storms,
Tell me it's alright; I can sleep tight,
Love me and run his fingers through my hair.
Tell me I'm special I'm beautiful and every other incredible word that has never been used to describe me.
Hug me in the grass just looking at the stars,
Kiss me in the saltiness of the crashing waves,
Dry my tears, erase my fears ;
make me feel happy and warm and blissful like there's nothing else I would ever need.

Babe you must understand that everyone needs their fairytales.

Teacher's day shortened this tiring week by 2 days, I'm really grateful for it...Going back to nanyang on teacher's day made me realise how wonderful our Nanyang teachers were. Esp Ms van Dijk! She's still so happy and funny! Seeing her always make me laugh. Used to think that Nanyang was really stressful...but as compared to hwachong, it'll probably seem like a sanctuary. School's really getting very tiring nowadays, I'm struggling just to get by each day, and even that seems like an arduous task.

I'm going into full mugging mode soon for promos, I must psyche myself up for it D: ARGH. And I must stop thinking of meaningless things when I'm seating at my table studying.

Now that I've gotten past it all and sorted out my social mess, I've gotten onto another track. Stupid girl, you really need to control yourself! But I would really like to see him jump, even though it lasts for only 6 seconds, just like the other pretty things that frizzle away into nothingness ):